Drama-free Life

Are there some people in your life that are regularly stumbling upon one drama after another, be it family drama, work drama or relationship drama?

I was one of those.

While I insisted and manifested for a drama-free life, I was constantly finding myself in complicated, dramatic situations that enervated me of my mental, emotional, and physical resources. I remember thinking: “How do these dramas keep finding me when I am desperately trying to run the other way?”

Now it was clear to me that, I, subconsciously, was orchestrating my life in a way that attracted drama. Simply put: I was a self-made drama-magnet (despite my ignorant protest and denial).

In retrospect, how could I have not known that ‘throw-caution-to-the-wind’ type of romantic relationship was synonymous with ‘drama’?

Before I proceed to share my two cents, I’d like to preface it by saying that: while I have managed to reduce most dramas in my life, I am not completely drama-free. I, too, am still learning and mastering this art with you. Perfection doesn’t exist, but it can still be an asymptote towards which we tirelessly and ceaselessly strive.

Process of Reducing (and Potentially Eliminating) Drama in Your Life

1. Identify the Telltale Signs of a Drama-thirsty Person

Start with YOURSELF. Be harrowingly honest about how much you exhibit the following behaviour:

  • Lying
  • Over-promising and underdelivering
  • Speaking in codes and not being forthcoming
  • Manipulative
  • Guilt-tripping
  • Gaslighting
  • Being hot and cold
  • Controlling
  • Craving gossip
  • Playing victim – blaming others instead of assuming responsibility

2. Identify the Telltale Signs in Those with Whom You Choose to Surround Yourself

Are you inadvertently inviting drama into your life through the people close to you? How frequently do they exhibit the aforementioned behaviour?

3. Cost-benefit Analysis

This may sound absurdly insensitive and cold but your energy, time, and emotional bandwidth are unfortunately finite. This means that if you are not careful in your resource allocation, you may not have enough to accomplish what really matters to you in life. So, conduct a cost-benefit analysis on this person who’s costing you a tremendous amount of resources with their drama. Evaluate it against how much your relationship with this person is helping you grow and achieve your goals. If the cost of this relationship outweighs the benefits, then perhaps you’d want to consider drawing some distance from them.

“Life is not so black and white,” you might say. And I get it. I have relatives, with whom I cannot just cut ties, that thrive on creating drama. They live and breathe drama. Drama invigorates them and ignites a fire and a sense of purpose in their soul. There’s nothing wrong with that. It is entirely to each their own. Except, when I am intentionally focusing and funnelling my finite resources towards my goals, involving myself in their drama will cause only derailments. If I may also be completely and unabashedly frank, to what extent does my involvement really help with their situation anyways? Often, people who indulge in drama just need a willing audience. So, if not me, then it could easily have been someone else.

In closing, I’d to draw on the wisdom of one of the greatest and most revered Roman emperor and philosopher—Marcus Aurelius. He said:

The soul becomes dyed with the colour of its thoughts.

What colour do you want to dye your soul?
Others’ inconsequential drama? Or, your own boundless potential unfolding?

Thank you for reading! To be honest, this topic has been a rather difficult and embarrassing one to write for me, but I hope that my journey can help shine some light for those of you who are trying to untangle and wrench yourself out of unnecessarily messy and exhausting dramatic situations.

10 Comments

  1. The way you write reminds me of Janice (Chandler’s girlfriend in Friends). You have the same brash, fearless style. I wonder if you laugh like her. 😅
    Lovely, eye-opening article. Thanks.
    Robert.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Brilliant post, Andie. I can identify with it so much. Please, don’t feel embarrassed about owning your previous behaviour because I understand more than you’d think – Being honest here, I, too, used to be someone who needed drama in their life and the attention of others who were unfortunate enough to be involved with me at that time. I’m not like that now – it was a good few years back. However, I do seem to get more than my fair share of drama-seeking people in my life now. I don’t criticise them as I was once like them. I still have trouble drawing away from these people and don’t want to be unkind, but what you say about our resources being so finite is very true. You offer some really valuable reasoning. Life is too short to spend it with people who are just draining us of energy and strength. Thanks for sharing so honestly, Andie. It’s appreciated. Xx 🌞🌹

    Like

  3. Andie:

    The great thing is one does not have to go searching.

    One is already THERE!

    Creating turmoil may be “fun” but as time moves on it just becomes treading nowhere.

    Seems you have been working out your addiction to trouble.

    Well done.

    Cheers.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s