Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.
Winnie the Pooh
34 has been nothing short of exciting! While I attempt to come up with words that could do it justice, I am going to park some highlights here in the form of photos—without captions, because some memories are better left untempered.
This was taken in 2018, when I was the most cut I had ever been. I did it to test my physical and mental fortitude. Little did I know how much it would’ve cost me to recover from it.
Was it worth it?
No. Nothing is worth one’s health and their relationship with food.
Would I do it again?
This is going to sound absolutely ridiculous and embarrassingly absurd but yes, yes I’d do it again if I were to go back in time. This ruthlessly painful journey, from training to recovery, indelibly defined a lot of who I am today. Because of it, I now have razor sharp discipline to carry through days when my motivations may be lacking. Because of it, I now have newfound appreciation of my body, of how it allows me to live this active life.
What does my current routine look like now?
Much has changed since then. Exercising is no longer on my to-do list as a task to cross off, rather, a mindfulness break I cherish.
As an ‘Everyday’ girl, I do the following every day:
Cover 10km (walk, run, hike)
Intermittent Fast 14-18 hours (almost every day)
Meet my macro split (1/3C, 1/3P, 1/3F)
Eat a high protein diet
Obtain my micronutrients from whole foods
Today, I may not have a chiseled six-pack that could grate cheese but I am healthy, strong, and blissfully happy. I have finally healed my relationship with food and with my own body.
I still vividly remember the summer when I first decided to start running. It was a warm summer day, a month after the Sun Run. I was inspired by all the talk of the race and wanted to challenge myself physically—and more importantly—mentally. I was lying on the cool hardwood floor of my ex’s apartment, next to my ex who was setting up the amp and various pedals for guitar practice.
“I am going to go for a run while you practice” I said, in a quiet, unsure voice.
“Sure,” he said. He was always supportive of what I wanted to do.
While I battled all the thoughts in my head, an hour quickly went by, and before I knew it, he was already packing up his guitar for he had finished practicing.
“I’m gonna start on dinner,” he said. “Are you still going for a run?”
Fast Forward to Now
I never finished this Running 10km post; however, I have run many 10kms since, and have been consistently walking/running/hiking 10km every day. It is no longer a daunting, arduous task, rather, one that I thoroughly enjoy and cherish. I can’t even remember how or when this paradigm shift occurred but once I changed my perception of what “10km” was to me, it no longer had dominion over me.
“Life is empty and meaningless and it’s empty and meaningless that it’s empty and meaningless“.
If we are assigning our own meaning to life and the events that transpire within it, might as well make it a great and exhilarating one!