Hiking Black Tusk

The only constant in my life are: change, and my healthy appetite. All the different iterations of me seem to pine for something wildly different. In some seasons, I wanted to settle down and have children, in some others I want to move to a monastery and forsake the world.

Often, I wonder if I have a gypsy soul or have caught some sort of an ‘adventure bug’ that compels me to chase new experiences ’til the end of the world.

My current adventure bug has metamorphosed into: big hikes and new sports. So, essentially, challenging both my physical and mental limitations.

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. 

—Khalil Gibran

My last proud achievement was summiting Black Tusk in Squamish in one day (on a sprained ankle). Looking forward to unlock more mountains!

What about you? How do you feel about change?

Waltzing into 35

Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.

Winnie the Pooh

34 has been nothing short of exciting! While I attempt to come up with words that could do it justice, I am going to park some highlights here in the form of photos—without captions, because some memories are better left untempered.

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

January

February

March

April

To Be Continued…

3 Books that Anchor My Life

There are many books that I love but there are only 3 that I keep a physical copy close to me so I can revisit at least a few times every year: The Little Prince, The Alchemist, and Eat, Pray, Love.

To know these 3 books well is to know the guiding compass and the governing principles of my life.

These 3 books have grown up with me since my twenties and despite having read them innumerable times, I continue to learn something about life and about myself from them.

The Little Prince

I must have first read The Little Prince when I was in my early twenties. It started off as a book I read to the kids, then it suddenly dawned on me how much childlike spirit I had lost when I caught glimpse of myself in all those absurd characters that the Little Prince had encountered in the story.

‘Grown-ups are very fond of numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask you the kind of questions that should be asked, such as: “What kind of voice does he have?” “What are his favourite games?” “Does he collect butterflies?”

Instead they ask: “How old is he? How much money does his father earn?”

They really do imagine this is the best way to discover what sort of person he is!’

The Little Prince

Since then, I made a point to frequently revisit the book, particularly in the month of May, to remind myself of the modest, humble, innocent essentials in life.

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

The Alchemist

The first time I read The Alchemist, I didn’t understand most of its analogies. I didn’t understand the pursuit of the personal legend, I didn’t understand the desert, the wind, the oasis, the alchemy, the treasure, the sheep—the magic and the grandeur of life, of the world.

I was so young, so caught up in my own growing up and fear of being left behind that I had missed what was sacrosanct—the journey of life itself.

Because I don’t live in either my past or my future. I’m interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you’ll be a happy man. You’ll see that there is life in the desert, that there are stars in the heavens, and that tribesmen fight because they are part of the human race.

Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we’re living right now.

The Alchemist

Over the years I have slowly gotten better at listening to the “soul of the world”, at living and letting live, at understanding my specklike existence against the immensity of the universe and the absurdity of trying to assert any semblance of control.

Eat, Pray, Love

Let go, and watch the stars come out—on the outside and on the inside.

Eat, Pray, Love

I resisted reading Eat, Pray, Love for the longest time because I abstinently refused to read “hype” books.

But life has a strange sense of humour and somehow Eat, Pray, Love found me when I most needed it—in a puddle of tears on my bathroom floor, where Elizabeth Gilbert was as well, when she first started writing the book.

Eat, Pray, Love was not like the previous two books from which I uncovered some blind spots and had a metamorphic experience. It did, however, offered great solace and hope while I healed and transformed.

The day is ending. It’s time for something that was beautiful to turn into something else that is beautiful. Now, let go.

I still find myself reaching for it when I need a reminder of how resilient I am, of how strong my love is, of how to hold onto my romantic ideologies about people, about the world, when it hurt all too much to.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW STRONG MY LOVE IS!!!!!!!!!

Between all 3 books, I have the wisdom, the courage, and the solace to soldier on while loving fervently and fearlessly.

Life Has Its Own Momentum

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Science World, one October evening.

 

Life seems to have its own momentum and once the pendulum starts swinging, there’s little to no stopping it.

I guess the pendulum started swinging for me sometime last winter, the winter of 2016.

It was a rough winter. Not only was the weather mercilessly cold and wet, I had also lost Frankie (my cat) and my relationship—one that I wholeheartedly wanted to be the ‘next chapter of my life’. 

The combination of the aforementioned factors made life quite unbearable for me. Waking up alone, without the cuddles of Frank and my ex, made me dread the Vancouver winter even more. I soon found myself sad and feeling hopelessly trapped.

They say that the older one gets, the more scared one becomes—this was (and still is) true for me. Some 7 years ago, in 2010, I excitedly packed what little belongings I had and moved to London. I had practically nothing to lose and the move felt like the perfect logical decision to make (and the fact that I always felt I was an European girl at heart probably helped). But 7 years later, I don’t know where that courage had gone. Moving out of Vancouver suddenly seemed like a daunting task. I have investments, friends, my sister, a stable job, and way too much furniture here. How could I just up and leave? Instead of the ‘nothing to lose’ mentality, I was infected with the ‘every thing to lose’ mentality. 

But like I said, life has a momentum of its own. After a sequence of events, it looks like I will be moving out of here shortly. 

And the brain is strange; once my days in Vancouver are numbered, every thing seems a lot more bearable, even the incessant torrential downpour. The thought of this being potentially the last fall and winter in Vancouver for who-knows-how-long supersedes my annoyance towards the weather, and softens my heart.