Grow Together | Grow Apart

People either grow together or grow apart.

Growing apart is easy. Entropy is scientifically proven to be the natural proclivity of things, of life. So unless we intentionally invest in time and energy to move towards an organized outcome/goal, most states of affairs fall apart, relationships as well. Relationships especially.

“Sorry I missed your call; I was in a meeting,” she texted after having intentionally screened the call to avoid a phone conversation.

“Sorry, I can’t come out tonight. I am caught up at work,” he lied, as he poured himself a drink.

“Ugh. I’m so sorry but can we reschedule? My niece asked if I could help her with work this weekend,” she said apologetically, making sure that she weaved her niece into the lie so it sounded more believable, and less refutable.

Because growing together requires commitment, intentionality, hard work, whereas growing apart only requires the withdrawal of effort.

Because in Chocolate, Vanilla, Choose, not choosing is also a choice.

The family I chose🤍

“So they went off together. But wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way, in that enchanted place on the top of the forest, a little boy and his bear will always be playing.”

Waltzing into 35

Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.

Winnie the Pooh

34 has been nothing short of exciting! While I attempt to come up with words that could do it justice, I am going to park some highlights here in the form of photos—without captions, because some memories are better left untempered.

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

January

February

March

April

To Be Continued…

365 Days of Fit

Winter of 2018

This was taken in 2018, when I was the most cut I had ever been. I did it to test my physical and mental fortitude. Little did I know how much it would’ve cost me to recover from it.

Was it worth it?

No. Nothing is worth one’s health and their relationship with food.

Would I do it again?

This is going to sound absolutely ridiculous and embarrassingly absurd but yes, yes I’d do it again if I were to go back in time. This ruthlessly painful journey, from training to recovery, indelibly defined a lot of who I am today. Because of it, I now have razor sharp discipline to carry through days when my motivations may be lacking. Because of it, I now have newfound appreciation of my body, of how it allows me to live this active life.

What does my current routine look like now?

Much has changed since then. Exercising is no longer on my to-do list as a task to cross off, rather, a mindfulness break I cherish.

As an ‘Everyday’ girl, I do the following every day:

• Exercise
• Cover 10km (walk, run, hike)
• Intermittent Fast 14-18 hours (almost every day)
• Stretch
• Meet my macro split (1/3C, 1/3P, 1/3F)
• Eat a high protein diet
• Obtain my micronutrients from whole foods

Today, I may not have a chiseled six-pack that could grate cheese but I am healthy, strong, and blissfully happy. I have finally healed my relationship with food and with my own body.

Running 10km

Dec 12, 2017

Running. I am not built for running

I still vividly remember the summer when I first decided to start running. It was a warm summer day, a month after the Sun Run. I was inspired by all the talk of the race and wanted to challenge myself physically—and more importantly—mentally. I was lying on the cool hardwood floor of my ex’s apartment, next to my ex who was setting up the amp and various pedals for guitar practice.

“I am going to go for a run while you practice” I said, in a quiet, unsure voice.

“Sure,” he said. He was always supportive of what I wanted to do.

While I battled all the thoughts in my head, an hour quickly went by, and before I knew it, he was already packing up his guitar for he had finished practicing.

“I’m gonna start on dinner,” he said. “Are you still going for a run?”

Fast Forward to Now

I never finished this Running 10km post; however, I have run many 10kms since, and have been consistently walking/running/hiking 10km every day. It is no longer a daunting, arduous task, rather, one that I thoroughly enjoy and cherish. I can’t even remember how or when this paradigm shift occurred but once I changed my perception of what “10km” was to me, it no longer had dominion over me.

“Life is empty and meaningless and it’s empty and meaningless that it’s empty and meaningless“.

If we are assigning our own meaning to life and the events that transpire within it,
might as well make it a great and exhilarating one!

Tender is the Night—Fitzgerald

 

I couldn’t resist and started reading Tender is the Night. (It has been every bit as beautiful as you had described it to be—thanks, Tony!) As I catch myself sinking into the world of Fitzgerald and my heartbeat slowing to the cadence of his words, I wonder how I have become such a sucker for words? I hate to admit this because it sounds so stupid but if I have a natural ‘type’ (aka my kryptonite), it’d be those whose thoughts are nimble, whose craft is in wordsmithing.

 

Report Cards

Aside: I usually eat fairly healthy, unless it’s report card time or vacation time, then anything goes—ANYTHING GOES!

 

Report card writing usually takes quite a bit out of me.

Even my colleagues ask me why my comments are so long, which has been the main reason behind me pulling a couple all-nighters, because otherwise report cards would probably need just half the time that I take. The real reason behind this self-inflicted struggle, is that I want to let the parents know that it’s not just the marks that matter, rather their attitude as a learner, a student, a person. I spend more time with these kids than most of their parents. I keep thinking if I were a mom, I’d be curious to know how my child is, in the areas that matter, such as their emotional well-being, their altruistic tendencies (or the lack thereof—if this is the case, then it would definitely be from the hidden genes of my future husband (ha!)). So things like, Jake may not be a good test-writer, but he always brings an infectious positive energy to class, and we all love him for it; Sam may not be the best at writing essays, but he always tries to offer his insights, never fearing of making mistakes; and Angela, Angela may always be achieving the highest possible grades, but she’s often so stressed, and no child should ever have to feel they can’t live up to their parents’ expectations. 

Sometimes, the kids read their own report cards, too. So my comments are also for them. They need to know that I notice it when they spend extra effort on their readings, when they choose to ignore their immature friends and stay focused, when they step out of their fear of public speaking and participate in class. I want them to know that, their effort counts, and that I am ever so proud of them.

That’s why report cards are hard to write. At the end of all those comments, it’s usually a seven-thousand-word affair.