I recently came across this quote that has left my spirit rather restless. When it comes to beliefs that I feel unapologetically convicted about, my confirmation bias tends to take over, rendering my judgements unreliable. How does one rectify one’s obstinate—and perhaps what ought to be obsolete—beliefs, to improve oneself?
Exhibit A of a Stagnant Belief of mine: My Romantic Ideologies.
I am a romantic, who pretends not to be. My personalities swing like pendulums between idealism and pragmatism. There are my hopes and dreams for people, for my relationships, for the future, and then there are my crude understanding of the reality. Whenever I hear stories about how relationships fail to work, I am reminded of the obsolescence of romanticism. Since I’ve read the quote above a few weeks ago, I have been seriously considering abandoning my romantic ideologies, I just haven’t quite figured out how yet.
And if I may be a hundred percent transparent, a huge part of me preemptively mourns and weeps for the loss of that romantic part of me. After all, if I am no longer a romantic, would I still be me?
This was another quote I came across recently that has really resonated with me. It has succinctly captured a powerful concept that I couldn’t quite articulate well myself; it is the notion that: both the quality AND quantity we invest into our goals define how successful we will be at it. Alex Hormozi said that doing 100 repetition of anything well, will result in noticeable improvements, however incremental it may be. It is not any one workout that we do is impressive, rather, the culmination of workouts that we day in and day out, devote ourselves to, that make a difference.
Have I devoted enough time and energy into the goals that I vehemently care about? Have you? If not, what we some of the accountability measures we can implement to ensure that we are doing our due diligence to be better, rather than waiting passively, praying and hoping that our desired goals would miraculously manifest themselves?
The only constant in my life are: change, and my healthy appetite. All the different iterations of me seem to pine for something wildly different. In some seasons, I wanted to settle down and have children, in some others I want to move to a monastery and forsake the world.
Often, I wonder if I have a gypsy soul or have caught some sort of an ‘adventure bug’ that compels me to chase new experiences ’til the end of the world.
My current adventure bug has metamorphosed into: big hikes and new sports. So, essentially, challenging both my physical and mental limitations.
Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.
My last proud achievement was summiting Black Tusk in Squamish in one day (on a sprained ankle). Looking forward to unlock more mountains!
Growing apart is easy. Entropy is scientifically proven to be the natural proclivity of things, of life. So unless we intentionally invest in time and energy to move towards an organized outcome/goal, most states of affairs fall apart, relationships as well. Relationships especially.
“Sorry I missed your call; I was in a meeting,” she texted after having intentionally screened the call to avoid a phone conversation.
“Sorry, I can’t come out tonight. I am caught up at work,” he lied, as he poured himself a drink.
“Ugh. I’m so sorry but can we reschedule? My niece asked if I could help her with work this weekend,” she said apologetically, making sure that she weaved her niece into the lie so it sounded more believable, and less refutable.
Because growing together requires commitment, intentionality, hard work, whereas growing apart only requires the withdrawal of effort.
Because in Chocolate, Vanilla, Choose, not choosing is also a choice.
Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.
Winnie the Pooh
34 has been nothing short of exciting! While I attempt to come up with words that could do it justice, I am going to park some highlights here in the form of photos—without captions, because some memories are better left untempered.
This was taken in 2018, when I was the most cut I had ever been. I did it to test my physical and mental fortitude. Little did I know how much it would’ve cost me to recover from it.
Was it worth it?
No. Nothing is worth one’s health and their relationship with food.
Would I do it again?
This is going to sound absolutely ridiculous and embarrassingly absurd but yes, yes I’d do it again if I were to go back in time. This ruthlessly painful journey, from training to recovery, indelibly defined a lot of who I am today. Because of it, I now have razor sharp discipline to carry through days when my motivations may be lacking. Because of it, I now have newfound appreciation of my body, of how it allows me to live this active life.
What does my current routine look like now?
Much has changed since then. Exercising is no longer on my to-do list as a task to cross off, rather, a mindfulness break I cherish.
As an ‘Everyday’ girl, I do the following every day:
Cover 10km (walk, run, hike)
Intermittent Fast 14-18 hours (almost every day)
Meet my macro split (1/3C, 1/3P, 1/3F)
Eat a high protein diet
Obtain my micronutrients from whole foods
Today, I may not have a chiseled six-pack that could grate cheese but I am healthy, strong, and blissfully happy. I have finally healed my relationship with food and with my own body.
I still vividly remember the summer when I first decided to start running. It was a warm summer day, a month after the Sun Run. I was inspired by all the talk of the race and wanted to challenge myself physically—and more importantly—mentally. I was lying on the cool hardwood floor of my ex’s apartment, next to my ex who was setting up the amp and various pedals for guitar practice.
“I am going to go for a run while you practice” I said, in a quiet, unsure voice.
“Sure,” he said. He was always supportive of what I wanted to do.
While I battled all the thoughts in my head, an hour quickly went by, and before I knew it, he was already packing up his guitar for he had finished practicing.
“I’m gonna start on dinner,” he said. “Are you still going for a run?”
Fast Forward to Now
I never finished this Running 10km post; however, I have run many 10kms since, and have been consistently walking/running/hiking 10km every day. It is no longer a daunting, arduous task, rather, one that I thoroughly enjoy and cherish. I can’t even remember how or when this paradigm shift occurred but once I changed my perception of what “10km” was to me, it no longer had dominion over me.
“Life is empty and meaningless and it’s empty and meaningless that it’s empty and meaningless“.
If we are assigning our own meaning to life and the events that transpire within it, might as well make it a great and exhilarating one!